I made the mistake of blinking and now I have a 12 week old!
Once you finally have your own baby you finally really get it when people say how fast it goes. It's crazy. Her head changed shaped before we even moved into the post-partum room. Her cry changed before we even left the hospital. I felt like I never had a delicate newborn since she came out so big and strong. She's had head control from day one. She rolled over on day 9. She's been standing and sometimes even balancing on her legs for several weeks. She's just a few ounces away from 14lbs. And she's already out growing 3 month clothes. Slow down baby, mommy can't handle you changing and growing so fast! It's possible her newborn clothes are still piled up in her crib since I just can't bear to pack them away yet. She outgrew them by four weeks! I also may have squished her into newborn size sleepers for far too long. The night I finally tried a 3 month sleeper it fit way too well!
Post-partum Recovery
Oh god. Why doesn't anyone tell you just how awful this is??? The doctor tells you the stitches dissolve in two weeks. Lies!! Down there was so painful and sore and just plain miserable for many weeks. I think I used dermaplast and tucks pads for three weeks. Then at four weeks those damn stitches started working their way out. I pushed my post-partum check-up out to almost 9 weeks because there was no way I wanted anyone near that area. I finally weaned off stool softeners a couple of weeks ago but I'm still keeping my fiber intake up. And what's with the squishy belly that won't fit in your old pants and isn't solid enough to hold up maternity pants. Thank goodness for yoga pants. Lots and lots of yoga pants - capri, shorts, pants - I have them all! At my check-up appointment I of course was offered birth control and I declined. Yes, I know there's a tiny chance in hell I'll get pregnant naturally and I would welcome it if it happened. My doctor did IVF and then less than a year after she had her twins she had another baby, so yes, it does happen. Since getting pregnant and having our daughter I've had so many people ask if we would be able to get pregnant on our own now. I've had to do a lot of educating on how pregnancy does not "cure" infertility. But I'm happy to do my part to spread awareness. I've also run into so many more people suffering from infertility and I have two people that are at the beginning stages and have come to me often with questions. Talking with them brings back the memories of when we started this journey and even though I don't need the reminders, it does help me cherish our daughter that much more.
Breastfeeding
Oy. My poor nipples. Little miss was a champion feeder from the get-go. Her gusto with feeding led to cracked and bleeding nipples within six hours of her being born. I swear she had little retractable vampire teeth! She did awesome in the hospital. After the initial feeding frenzy she settled into every three hour feeds. And then my milk took five freaking days to come in... Yea. When you give birth to an eight plus pound baby they're hungry. All. The. Time. We actually ended up giving her some formula through a little tube taped to my boob on day four because she was constantly crying in hunger. Once my milk finally did come in, it came in too well. I ended up with over active letdown and an over supply. Nothing like hearing and watching your poor little baby choke and gasp while she drowns in milk. We were saturating a burp rag and both of us at every feeding. Little miss ended up with colic and explosive all day long poop which of course led to a nasty rash that took many weeks to resolve. I ended up having to only feed off one side for long stretches of time - up to 12 hours at one point. The other side was left to get painfully engorged, but it paid off and after a few weeks my supply settled down. Even now I pump maybe once a week so I can take longer to run errands without her with and even that's enough to ramp up my boobs. But she's old enough now that she can deal with it better. When the over active let down was at its worst her way of coping was to clamp down on my nipple as hard as she could and shake her head back and forth. This lead to a sizeable crater in the middle of my left nipple. Thank goodness for nipple shields! It's the only way I was able to continue feeding off that side and luckily once it healed she weaned off the nipple shield rather quickly. Nursing now at 12 weeks is a piece of cake. I'm so glad I stuck with it even though I wanted to give up so many times in the first month.
Little Miss
Our beautiful little girl has stolen our hearts forever. She can be feisty like her mommy and loves naps like her daddy. It's amazing how one day you have this little person that's here to stay forever. She's strong and she's healthy and has become more happy than not. She had a few bumps in the road with feeding issues and colic. She also had two very miserable weeks after the rotavirus vaccine, but she's finally over that. She loves messing with her daddy - she likes to make huge poop messes for him. She can be a momma's girl - especially when she had those rough two weeks, but she's starting to really like her daddy too. I think what helped their bond was all the skin to skin they did after bath each night for the first month. We'd give her a little sponge bath and then dressed only in her diaper she would take a long nap on her daddy's chest. She also ended up taking a lot of naps on her daddy's chest throughout the day - I think this was daddy's way of getting lots of extra naps, too!
Number Two? Maybe?
I hate that we can't just enjoy our sweet baby without already thinking about number two. I turn 35 in a couple of months so I think we may lean towards sooner rather than later, but I'm not sure when would be the best time for us. If we decide to try and have the second one due around the time she turns two that means in less than a year we would be gearing up for FETs. And that seems way too soon. But if we wait another year I'll be 37 when baby is born, provided it doesn't take as long. Part of me is always secretly hoping I'll end up in the small percentage of those who get pregnant naturally after IVF. One can only hope!
For now I'm just going to enjoy and soak up all the snuggles I can. Because all too soon she will be grown and out on her own.
