It's Over

The line on the hpts were getting darker. Then I noticed last evening that my symptoms disappeared. I had been having cramping and sore boobs. This morning I tested again and the line was very faint. I just got my blood results back. Progesterone had dropped and my HCG was 7. It should be 50. Chemical pregnancy. This sucks.

HPT + !!!

3 Weeks 6 Days Pregnant!

Tested this morning. It would technically be 7 1/2 dp5dt.

Definite line today, don't even have to squint at it, although it's pretty light.

If only for a moment, WE ARE PREGNANT!!!

BEST. FEELING. EVER. !!!

Beta tomorrow - praying for a strong number!

7dp5dt ... Is That a Line ... ?! Maybe? Please?

3 Weeks 5 Days

I made the mistake of POAS very early yesterday morning. It was a BFN. I couldn't make a line appear no matter how hard I tried. The negative hurt. A lot. Later in the day I was talking it over with my husband. My transfer took place in the late afternoon - after 5:30pm my time here. So really, yesterday may have been 6dp5dt, but early in the morning was only 5 1/2 dp5dt.

My husband wanted me to test again this morning. I refused, saying I couldn't take another negative. I wanted to just wait until beta on Wednesday. He never wanted me to test in the first place. But then this afternoon he said he wanted me to test again. He said it was my fault for getting him hooked. Consider yourselves warned ladies - men can become POAS addicts, too! I finally relented and said I would consider it in the early evening, since that would be closer to an actual 7dp5dt.

We went to an afternoon movie to kill some time. I had used the bathroom before going and waited to get home before I went again. I so glamorously peed in a disposable birthday cup (it was all I could find!) and my husband took over from there. He actually kicked me out of our bathroom and made me wait in the kitchen. Initially when I walked out to the kitchen the tears were threatening to come, but I made myself choke it down and instead focused on sorting mail.

3 minutes went by...

5 minutes went by...

He finally came out and I was waiting for the I'm so sorry hug. Instead he said it looks like there might be a very faint line. It's hard to see. At first I was very skeptical. But sure enough, if you tip it at an angle under bright light, there is a ghost of a very faint pink second line. Enough of a line to make me stop and think, maybe, just maybe.

Of course hubby wants me to test again tomorrow...

Did I Spot a Speck?

Earlier this evening I made a routine trip to the bathroom. I've been wearing liners to soak up the greasiness from the suppositories. I've had a few twinges over the past few days and have been looking to see if any implantation bleeding happened. Well, tonight it looks like I may have had a drop or two of spotting. The usually white suppository slime was tinged the lightest shade of brownish pink.

Perhaps from implantation?

I can only hope...

3 Weeks 3 Days PUPO

5dp5dt

Trying to patiently wait for beta next week. I had my progesterone checked yesterday. It came back at 48.34! Yay! The nurse that emailed my results said this was a good number. It was followed by a good luck with three exclamation points. Perhaps a sign of good things to come? This also means I do not have to add the nasty PIO injections. I'll take the constant oil slick from the suppositories over needles in my butt any day. I've been pleasantly surprised by the lack of side effects from the progesterone.  I was expecting to be cranky and irritable but that hasn't happened. The only thing I've noticed is my boobs are a little sore the last couple of days.

I'm haven't POAS yet. I think I may start on Monday. Originally my husband was going to be home on Wednesday for beta but now he picked up a shift. He didn't want me to test but now he does since he won't be here. So we'll see.

Not sure what we'll do if this cycle doesn't work. Everything has gone perfectly this cycle so I would be really shocked if at least one blast didn't stick around. We've discussed different options and we've decided to just wait and see. The whole IVF process is getting old and if this doesn't work I don't know how much more I would be willing to go through.

Positive thoughts until beta.

3 Weeks and a Nickname

3 weeks PUPO!

I finally decided on a nickname for our maybe babies. The Twinkies. I don't even like Twinkies, but they come two in a pack and we have two blasts chilling in my belly.  Unfortunately for them I'm not the most creative person. But it's easy enough.

We left the gorgeous weather in California today and returned home to temperatures half of what we had been enjoying. I LOVE the beach and miss it already.  Although there is something to be said about sleeping in your own bed.

I received an amazing surprise from my husband today. He upgraded our flight to first class! I was completely shocked. To show how distracted I am right now, he handed me my boarding passes when we checked in and I didn't even realize it said first class seating on it. He finally had to point it out to me ten minutes before boarding. Best. Husband. Ever!!! I very much appreciated the extra comfort that came with an upgrade. Flying back to the Midwest we spend about 4 hours total on an airplane so I was so very grateful for his surprise. I told the Twinkies they need to show their gratitude for the upgrade by sticking around. Hopefully they're good listeners.

My acupuncturist is pretty awesome. Since he will be out of town for a long weekend and he knew I was doing a transfer, he told me he would meet me at the clinic tonight when we got back. It felt so good to end a long day of travel with acupuncture. I know I will sleep well tonight!

The only 'symptom' I've noticed is a couple of mild twinges earlier today. Could it be our hatching blast busted out completely and was trying to burrow in? Or was my body protesting all the travel today? Who really knows. Beta is a week from today!

PUPO with Twins!

Transferred two beautiful blasts today. Our fresh one was a 5AA, perfect and hatched halfway out of its shell. The frozen one was a 4AA and they did assisted hatching on that one. I'll spend the next day and a half soaking up more California sun before flying home Wednesday. Yay!!

Fertilization Report

One egg out of the two has fertilized. The one that didn't make it was immature. They tried to culture that one, but it stopped growing. I was expecting that since it came from a 12mm follicle.

I started progesterone support last night. I take an oral progesterone every evening at bedtime. I will also take 2 vaginal prometrium suppositories a day starting tomorrow. I had to take one suppository this morning. The following description is going to be TMI. And it will forever ruin your view of candles on a birthday cake, so consider yourself warned. I woke up early this morning and inserted the suppository. It's a pharmacy compound and needs to be kept refrigerated. It has a white waxy outer coating in the shape of a little torpedo. Inside is the progesterone. I laid in bed for a good hour after placing it. I used the bathroom once I got up. The waxy coating had somewhat liquified and drops were floating in the water. It reminded me exactly of wax candles dripping onto a birthday cake. Disgusting, I know. Other than that I haven't had any other side effects. Keeping my fingers crossed I don't turn into a raging b---- from all this progesterone.

Transfer is scheduled for Monday afternoon. I will be getting my progesterone level checked earlier that morning. If it's way too low then the transfer will be canceled. If it's just a little low I will be put on those nasty PIO shots. Fingers crossed the oral and suppositories do the trick!

I'm continuing to soak up the amazing weather here. Low 80's and sunshine the whole time we're here!

2 Eggs and a Beautiful Uterus

Retrieval was this morning. It still amazes me how awesome this natural IVF cycle has been going. I received orders Monday for Lupron trigger that night followed by ibuprofen every 6 hours (with a break overnight). My two largest follicles were 22 and 12. There were several smaller, but not worth aspirating. Two eggs were retrieved. I'm guessing the egg from the smaller follicle will be immature, although I know if that is the case the lab will try to grow it. I would expect the other egg to grow into a beautiful blast. Transfer will be Monday. I will be doing progesterone in oral and suppository form. They will check my progesterone level Monday morning and if it's low they will add PIO. My lining was perfect today at 10.5. The doctor kept saying how beautiful my uterus looked - he spent way more time than necessary looking at it from a couple different angles, but it was worth it. Even I could tell how nice and fluffy it was on the monitor.

I was a little bummed my husband didn't get to come back to the retrieval waiting area with me. I also found out he doesn't get to see the transfer either. But the nurse did say they have let people record the transfer. I hope so. I joked with my husband he didn't even need to come on this trip since we still have a vial frozen they could have used. It is nice to have him here to pamper me.

I stopped at a local acupuncture clinic recommended by my IVF center. I'm scheduled for a treatment before transfer on Monday morning. The rest of the week we are just going to keep busy. Today I'll take it easy to let my body recover from retrieval. A nap and lounging by the pool are on the schedule. We may also go to a movie later. Then up until transfer I will be doing lots of walking to keep the blood flowing to my uterus.  I'm enjoying every drop of sunshine here.

I'm getting excited about this cycle. I have every hope things will work out.

That's It?

This natural cycle IVF is going beautifully!

Thursday I had my saline infused sonogram (SIS) in preparation of our transfer this cycle.

I remember when I had an HSG and how painful that was. I also know how painful my retrievals have been without anesthesia or any pain meds. So, I was expecting a decent amount of pain.

The most "painful" part was the doctor inserting the speculum. This was by far one of the easiest and least painful exams I have had in this journey. Apparently all they do is put a little cap on your cervix and push the saline through. I had the smallest of cramps and then it was over. The doctor said he was done and I said, "that's it?" I was shocked at how easy it was.

The inside of my uterus looked beautiful. Clear of any issues and ready for a baby!

Today was CD 10 which included labs and ultrasound.

I have one gorgeous follicle on the right that was 17.5 and should be prime size for trigger tonight. I have another one at 11 on the right and a few 7s on the left. I'm only expecting one mature egg this cycle, but I'm sure Dr. Y will aspirate all he can find, just in case.

My lining was 7.6! Which is absolutely amazing for my body! Last IVF cycle at retrieval my lining was only 5.6. It looked nice and fluffy today. My acupuncturist has been trying some different things to boost my lining and it's paid off! I go again today as my lining still needs to get a little bit thicker, but I have faith it will happen.

We leave for California tomorrow morning. Based just on my follicle size today I really expect to trigger tonight and retrieval should be Wednesday morning. We'll enjoy the sunshine for a week and transfer should be next Monday! Yikes! 

I'm feeling very hopeful for the first time in years. I keep visualizing this cycle working. I know there are a million more things that need to go right, but I just have a good vibe this time. I also know that if  things don't work, we'll be okay, and we still have plenty of blasts on ice.

Baseline Results and Plan

I had my baseline ultrasound and lab work yesterday. Since this is a natural IVF cycle and I wasn't starting any medications, they waited until today to give me my orders.

FSH 25.7, E2 21, AFC 11. Two largest follicles are 9 and 6.

That is by far the highest my FSH has ever been. Good thing my doctor in California won't think twice about it. It's almost laughable now. I remember a few years ago an RE telling me that an FSH over 20 is getting pretty close to menopause and even with an FSH of 18 I needed donor eggs. Ha. I'm so happy I spent the ridiculous amount of time that I did on researching options. I have six blasts in the freezer and I would expect to make another one from this cycle. And I made all of them using very little to no medications!

I'm a little bummed my AFC dropped from my last two IVF cycles. I know it can fluctuate and my body could still be recovering from the little bit of clomid I was on in August. My last cycle was only 23 days and I ovulated on day 12 so the FSH and AFC really didn't surprise me too much.

I had acupuncture yesterday. My acupuncturist is trying a few different things to help beef up my lining. It involved electroacupuncture on my lower back and legs. Seems strange, but it actually felt really good. I go again tomorrow.

My SIS is scheduled for Thursday. Not looking forward to it. I'm not worried about the pain, just worried that maybe my right tube is blocked now, too. I know we're doing IVF, but if both tubes are blocked, then I would have zero chance of a miracle pregnancy. I know how slim my chances are, but every month I still hope that I will be one of those rare lucky ones and get pregnant in between IVF cycles.

Next monitoring appointment is scheduled for Monday. I would be surprised if I wasn't ready to trigger that night. We will fly out to California on Tuesday. Wednesday will be either retrieval, trigger, or monitoring. We'll see what Monday shows. It's so nice to not have to worry about taking medications on time every night. It would be really awesome if I triggered Monday night so then I wouldn't even have to worry about dragging my vial of lupron along with.

I'm getting good vibes so far this cycle, let's keep it going!

IVF #5 Natural Cycle with Transfer

CD 1 decided to show up today. I really thought yesterday was going to be day one, but my body said, nah, just messing with you.

I have my baseline appointment on Monday. I also still need to get a saline infused sonogram to evaluate my uterus. The SIS is scheduled for Thursday. The most fantastic part of this IVF cycle is ABSOLUTLEY NO STIMULATION MEDS!!!!

I am so looking forward to this cycle. The first med I'll take is the Lupron trigger shot. That will be followed by every six hour doses of ibuprofen until retrieval. Then I'll of course be on progesterone support. My clinic prefers a combo of oral and suppository progesterone. I'll also have to pick up a vial of the nasty PIO, but that's only in case I need it. My luteal phase defect may also require a little estrogen support, but that will be determined later in my cycle.

I'm guessing we will leave for California a week from Tuesday. I'm looking forward to beaches and sunshine. It's been so dreary here the last several days. Winter is quickly approaching and I'm not looking forward to it. I plan on soaking up every drop of sun I can. We will be there for at least a week as we wait for transfer after retrieval.

There is definitely some fear going into this cycle. I'm not sure what scares me more, the cycle not working or getting a positive. After so many years of infertility I'm not sure I can picture what success would look and feel like. I do know just like our last transfer 2 1/2 years ago, I plan on fully embracing this cycle. I will whole heartedly love this pregnancy no matter how long our little embryos decide to stick around. A BFN will hurt no matter what. I know this. But I never regretted believing in our pregnancy last time.

And that means...I'm one day pregnant!