Have I Had Enough?

I have spent a lot of time in the past few months asking myself:

Have I had enough of this infertility?

Have I had enough procedures?

Have I had enough stress?

Have I had enough Doctor visits?

Have I had enough treatments?

Have I had enough medications?

Have I had enough of what western medicine has to offer?

Have I had enough pain from endometriosis?

Have I had enough strain on my marriage?

Have I had enough holidays ruined by our inability to have children?

Have I had enough delays in starting my career?

Have I had enough of putting the rest of my life on hold?

How do you really know when you have had enough?

I’m pretty sure I’m at that point. I’m done.

I don’t want to think or deal with infertility anymore.

Admitting that hurts more than infertility and endometriosis combined.

Yet Another Holiday with Empty Arms

Father’s Day is once again fast approaching.

For me, I hate it even more than Mother’s Day.

My crappy body is the reason we aren’t pregnant and may never be. The enormity of my guilt whenever I think of my husband never experiencing fatherhood is overwhelming. He would be an amazing father.

I know how much he wants to be a father.

And it’s the one thing I can’t give him.