Cycling Soon

We had originally planned to get back into a banking cycle this month, but due to circumstances beyond our control and some that were in our control, we decided to wait until next month.

Hopefully things will settle down around here in the next couple of weeks. My husband needs to fly out to California to deposit another sample since we've used up the three vials we had from before. He's making it a quick trip since he's been busy with work and other projects.

If we do decide to go ahead with the next cycle, then I would fly out around the late middle part of June. I'm kinda ready to get this show on the road. It's time to move forward and I'm ready.

My grief has been easing. Some days still sneak up on me. It didn't help last week when we visited several different friends who all had babies in the past year. It was hard. Very hard. I went out to visit my grandma's grave on Mother's Day. She was the closest thing I had to a good mother growing up so it seemed only fitting I visit her on the day. I think it was therapeutic for me to go out there. I cried some hard ugly tears and although it left me exhausted I think it was a good release. I didn't bother even texting my own mother. It still deeply disturbs me she has yet to acknowledge the loss of our pregnancy. I did send her a card. Late. On purpose. Go me. I have a core group of friends that really get what I'm going through. They were amazing. Each one of them sent me a message on Mother's Day acknowledging my heartache. That kind of support means everything to me.

For now, I'm just hanging out, trying to stay healthy and relaxed.