IVF #8 ... Yikes!

We're getting awfully close to double digit IVF cycles...

We have decided it's time to start doing treatments again. I go in for my baseline appointment on Monday morning. It will be interesting to see my hormone levels. We are doing a mini banking cycle this month. I'm guessing I will be on a little bit of clomid and do the Lupron trigger. Depending on how big my follicles start out I could possibly be spending our 5 year anniversary in California alone. I already spent Valentines' Day out there by myself. Oh well, my husband has to work on our anniversary anyways. We had always wanted to do an awesome trip at the five year mark, but thanks to IVF and other major expenses, that won't be happening. Our new goal is to do something big for our 10 year.

I've had a lot of anxiety the past couple of weeks. Not sure if it's still grief or fear about cycling again.  This will be my fifth egg retrieval and fourth trip to California alone, so I don't think that's the issue. I'm guessing I'm just fearful after having our last cycle end so horribly. I've always thought I had a good grasp on all the possible what ifs, but our ectopic caught me so off guard I think it's messing with my mind right now. I'm trying to stay calm and keep myself occupied.

Let's end this post with a funny story that only infertiles can relate to. My husband flew out to California about a week ago to freeze another sample. When he went to check out at the front desk the receptionist commented, "that was quick!" He said she was immediately embarrassed from blurting that out and stumbled over her words trying to cover. He just shook his head.