This is Just Mean

It's official. The universe hates me.

My local clinic called and checked up on me on Wednesday morning. They asked if I wanted to come in for another beta and of course I said yes. You dangle extra monitoring in front of an infertile and she's going to take you up on it. Beta was 1893. A respectable increase.

My local doctor has also been following my case. I have only seen her once previously and that was in July to get a referral I needed for my doctor in CA to be covered in-network. After seeing my ultrasound Monday and my beta Wednesday, she wanted me to come in today for another ultrasound and beta. Beta today was 3800, a little more than double from Wednesday.

Background: This is important - two years ago when I had my last surgery for endometriosis the doctor found that my left tube was plugged from inside my uterus from endo. She did not try to clear the area because she felt it would cause scarring and that would be permanent. She has rarely seen tubes reopen, but it has happened.

Monday's ultrasound showed a possible growth in my left tube. Today that growth was much larger. There was also something seen in my uterus. My doctor told me that if I was a normal patient I would be in surgery right now having my tube removed. But, since we've been through so much and I'm not having any pain, she is willing to let me coast until Monday. The spot in my uterus could be fluid from the ectopic or it could be the other embryo. That's also why she's willing to let us wait until Monday. The on-call doctor has been notified so if I do have to go into the ER they will know what's going on. And of course my local doctor is off next week, so she's talked with another one of the OB/GYN's to follow me on Monday.

So basically the damn thing planted itself in the last place I ever expected. I finally get pregnant and it's going to end like this. This feels really cruel.

Yesterday I asked my acupuncturist if there was a way to tell if I'm having a boy or girl. He said there is a theory, although he has not found it to be anywhere near consistent. However, he checked for me, and in following with the Chinese theory, it's a boy.

Update: My IVF doctor in California called me back. He is not 100% convinced it's ectopic, but of course he acknowledges he hasn't seen the ultrasound images. He said there could be another issue in my tube. He said it's very rare for a day 5 blast to wander into a tube. He also doesn't feel that a rupture is imminent because usually that happens when your beta gets higher and the pregnancy is further along. But of course I am still to report to the ER if any symptoms arise. He thinks the ultrasound will hopefully show more on Monday. If it is ectopic he recommends removing the tube since we transferred two and if there is a viable pregnancy in my uterus he doesn't want to risk harming it.Basically we are just playing a waiting game.